


it’s about time we make amends

by key_to_levis_heart



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, M/M, Past Relationship(s), formerly anyways, letting go and making amends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9108670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/key_to_levis_heart/pseuds/key_to_levis_heart
Summary: It may have taken a few years, but after meeting again Eren is finally able to forgive Levi for breaking his heart





	

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve been reflecting on my past relationship back in highschool and i wrote a fic based on that experience, a sort of ‘what if’ if i were to ever meet her again. she'd been my best friend, and even though it’s been a few years and i’m mostly over it i’m still struggling to find some closure, so this is about letting go and making amends
> 
> this actually kind of hurt to write and i spent a lot of time crying while i was writing in the middle of the night, but this helped me feel a little more closure

 

Eren thinks that figure stocking the shelves seems familiar; he knows that height and that hair color but he still feels taken aback when they turn to face him.

 

It’s fucking _Levi_.

 

Eren panics, and it feels like his breath has been forced from his chest. Fuck, he wishes he could just walk away, but he puts on a straight face and walks right past Levi, pretending he never saw him, but he catches a timid, forced smile and a wave out of the corner of his eye as he walks by.

 

“Can I help you find anything?” he hears Levi ask politely.

 

Eren refuses to interact with him, keeping his body turned away, but he can’t help but glance over at Levi for a second.

 

He swallows thickly. “No, I’ve got it,” he mutters.

 

He expects Levi to walk away, to just ignore him again, but Levi keeps lingering awkwardly.

 

“What do you want?” Eren snaps, turning to glare at him.

 

He sees Levi’s jaw tense, and his eyes are focused on a point beside Eren’s head rather than directly looking at him. The tension filling the air is palpable and it makes Eren’s chest feel tight, and his blood is pumping during the long moment before Levi speaks.

 

“I’ll be over there if you need help finding something,” Levi mutters, clearly irritated. He turns to walk away but he pauses, facing Eren again. “Is that really all you’re going to say to me?” he blurts out, searching Eren’s face for any emotion besides anger.

 

Eren chews on the inside of his lip, keeping his eyes averted. He says nothing.

 

Levi shakes his head, “whatever,” he mutters to himself and walks back to where he was reshelving.

 

Once Eren is left to himself again he heaves out a deep sigh, frustratedly drags his hands through his hair. He’s filled with dread knowing that Levi is right around the corner. He wants to hide behind these shelves, or go bury himself in a hole somewhere. Anything but talk to Levi again.

 

He wanders the store absently, knowing he’ll have to face Levi eventually. _Don’t think about him,_ Eren tells himself. _Just find what you need and get the hell out of here_. He scowls at the shelves, only growing more angry with each passing moment.

 

With a sigh he roughly grabs what he needs from the shelf and walks to the counter, impatiently tapping his foot and waiting for Levi to come over to ring him up.

 

Eventually Levi notices him ( _about fucking time,_ Eren thinks) and makes his way over and slips behind the counter. “You could have asked me instead just standing here like an idiot,” he deadpans.

 

Eren glares harshly. “Just ring me up already,” he bites out.

 

Levi takes one of the items placed down and is about to scan the barcode, but he hesitates, putting it back down for a moment.

 

“Do you still hate me?” he asks quietly.

 

He sounds so...unsure and dejected, and it takes Eren by surprise.

 

“Of course I fucking hate you,” he answers honestly, though admitting it out loud makes him feel sad, and his voice is laced with sorrow beneath the biting anger.

 

Levi says nothing, and the beep on the barcode scanner sounds so loud, breaking the tense silence.

 

“We broke up the eleventh grade, Eren,” Levi says as starts filling the plastic bag. “It’s been, what, four years? Let it go already.”

 

“I’ve been trying to, dammit!” Eren snaps, grabbing the bag from Levi. “How else am I supposed to feel? You broke my fucking heart! I think I have a right to resent you for it.”

 

“You think I wasn’t affected too?” Levi bites his lip and looks away, and he looks so defeated. “It’s been four years,” he repeats weakly. “Can we just put this all behind us and have an actual fucking conversation instead you just yelling at me?”

 

Eren is absolutely dumbstruck. He’s run through scenario after scenario in his head about what would happen if he ran into Levi again and this is not what he expected.

 

Eren looks at the tiled floor, feeling embarrassed and ashamed for his outburst; he can feel the curious stares of the other customers. “What would we even talk about?” he asks in a murmur.

 

“Well...we could just catch up, I guess. Get some ice cream while we’re at it.”

 

Eren half-smiles at the suggestion; he wants to cry. “Just like we used to?”

 

Levi smiles awkwardly too. “Yeah, like we used to.”

 

The door opens and the bell above it rings, and the intense atmosphere they’d created dissolves.

 

Levi rubs the back of his neck. “I need to get back to work. How about you swing by my house later? I’m sure Mom would want to see you too…”

 

-

 

Eren has no idea what came over himself, but he actually agreed.

 

It’s close to dark, and he paces outside Levi’s house. It’s not too late to turn around and bike back home. Does he really want to do this?

 

He’s spent the last four years hating Levi with all his heart. But maybe it would be nice to get some closure. To just talks things over.

 

He looks over at the small house Levi grew up in. He used to come here all the time, there are a lot of fond memories engrained in the walls and floorboards; Levi’s bedroom as well. Those memories are painful to think about now, but they bring a bittersweetness with a sad smile laced with grief and a few stray tears.

 

Fuck, he wants to cry.

 

Finally making a decision he hesitantly walks up the steps to the front door. _It’s now or never,_ he thinks, knocking on the door.

 

-

  


“I loved you,” Eren says, sitting on Levi’s bed. The room is a little different now; different sheets and new posters, but Eren recognizes the photos hanging on the wall.

 

“I know you did.”

 

Eren chews the inside of his lip. “I feel so fucking stupid for it now. I thought we’d be together forever, can you believe that?” He let's out a humorless laugh, and a sad smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” Levi says quietly, avoiding eye contact. “I’m so fucking sorry, Eren. For hurting you like that.”

 

Eren waves his hand dismissively. “Don’t apologize,” he mutters. _A little late for that_.

 

“I mean it!” Levi snaps. “You were my best friend, I just wanted things to go back to how they were before, and I was stupid and I fucked up.”

 

Eren can’t do anything more than stare wide eyed at Levi, his bottom lip trembling. He doesn’t dare speak, knowing that if he tries his voice will crack horribly and he’ll start to cry.

 

 _(‘I don’t think you’re ready for a relationship,’ Levi had said into the phone._ ‘ _Eren, you are so amazing. You...you’re perfect and better than I deserve, but I don’t think you’re emotionally ready for a relationship yet. I want to go back to being friends.’)_

 

 _‘How was I supposed to react,’_ Eren wants to say. _‘I was so fucking in love with you and it felt like my world tore apart.’_ He turns his face away, struggling not to cry.

 

“I missed you,” Levi admits quietly, staring into nothing as he hears Eren’s choked sobs. “And I know that it’s my fault, the...the ultimate demise of our relationship, but... I just want you to know that I do regret it. And that I wish I could make it up to you, but I know we’ll probably never get that friendship back.”

 

Eren can’t hold back his tears anymore, and Levi looks about ready to cry too.

 

“I should've treated you better.”

 

Eren takes a shaky breath, whispering, “I missed you too.”

 

Eren covers his face with his hands, trying to control his breathing. He wants to hide, but before he can stand up to leave he hears Levi clearing his throat.

 

“Hey, uh...how is college going?” Levi asks quietly, voice stiff and awkward.

 

Eren pulls his hands away from his face, wiping his tears and looking at him curiously.

 

“I wanna know everything,” Levi continues, a timid smile forming on his face. “About your classes, shitty roomates, parties…”

 

Eren can’t help but smile too, wiping his face and sniffing loudly, eyes puffy and red. The silence between them while Eren finds his voice is static, but now that they’ve gotten everything off their chests the uncomfortable tension is dissipating.

 

“I thought we agreed on getting ice cream before catching up,” Eren says in a watery voice, hesitant and unsure, but hearing Levi’s soft laugh relaxes him.

 

“I did promise that, didn’t I,” Levi says, and Eren can hear the smile in voice even though he’s not looking at him.

 

-

 

There’s a comfortable silence resting between them as they savor their ice cream, sitting in the ice cream shop.

 

“I’m studying art, like I wanted to,” Eren says eventually, feeling confident in his voice and smiling genuinely. “Dad finally gave in and let me.”

 

Levi gives Eren a brief glance and a gentle smile. “That's good, I remember how upset you were when he was pushing you to go to med school.”

 

Eren looks down at his ice cream with a smile, a genuine smile, glad that the earlier tension is gone.

 

“You look good,” Levi continues, and Eren can see a sad fondness in his eyes. “You look _happy_.”

 

“Are you not?” Eren asks seriously, and Levi shrugs.

 

“Tell me more about college,” Levi says instead of answering, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “Like I said before, I wanna hear everything; I bet you’re quite the party animal now.”

 

Maybe things will be alright between them, Eren thinks, as they’re able to laugh together and swap stories. Things will never be the same as they had been; they’ve both grown and changed into different people now.

  
But this is the start of a new beginning, and they have no choice but to see where it takes them.


End file.
